You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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