OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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