My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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