he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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