i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize