my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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