yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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