sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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