if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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