God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
