I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
