she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
