she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
