I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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