After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
