The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You took a bar mat shot.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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