i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
