I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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