If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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