Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She needs sedatives and a leash
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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