Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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