Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
