dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
