btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
