just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How naked do you want me to be?
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