You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
