Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
