You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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