Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
