i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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