office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
