If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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