Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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