At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up under a house in Key West
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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