my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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