just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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