this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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