I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
