My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
