I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
