so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
