He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What a dumb baby whore.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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