i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize