Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
