Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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