I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
