I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
