Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
