You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
