was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize