C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
