you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
