found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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