ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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