Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
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i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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