She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
