That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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