Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if only i could text you this smell
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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