its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
