what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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