Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we're making bets on your personal life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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