i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
