I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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